Blame it on Jon Mclaughlin

I’m in one of those moments when everything is at its perspective but it just doesn’t feel like it. I don’t know if this is just one of my temporary insanities, yet another down cycle, or if I’m having a quarter-life crisis. Whichever the case doesn’t matter because it all feels the same, anyway.

I guess everybody has been there at some point, waking up every single day to what seems to be routinary. You go to work, you party, you go to work, you party. You have all the fun in the world but you end up asking yourself at the end of the day if that is all there is to it.

Okay, okay… So maybe I had too much of Jon Mclaughlin’s Beautiful Disaster. Or maybe I just got tired of waiting for my happy ever after. It’s that feeling of emptiness when you start and end the day on your own with several people in between. Yes, you have fun. Tons of it. But life isn’t just about having fun, is it?

My life is always on the edge, almost always complicated. Never boring, to say the least. I therefore can’t say that I am just bored. Or maybe I just got used to being on the edge that even the complications bore me now. Alright, so maybe I am bored.

Perhaps I’m past the life-is-but-a-party stage. Perhaps I need to meet new faces, see new places that will amaze me. Perhaps I now need to slow down and see the bigger picture, capture the greater things in life. Perhaps I need answers that don’t start with perhaps. Perhaps…

I’ve been feeling like this for a couple of weeks already and I feel weird not being my usual bubbly self. I hate faking smiles but I sometimes have no choice because if I don't, everything will crumble for no apparent reason at all. That will be worse than just feeling down just because I feel like it.

I’m hoping this is just PMS because I don’t want to feel like this for long. So, NO… I’d rather not think this is a temporary insanity, another down cycle, or a quarter-life crisis because it sucks when even The Script’s For the First Time fails to cheer me up. It normally does on my bubbly days.

So if tomorrow you find me grumpy, cranky, and dull, blame it on Jon Mclaughlin.