Foxed

Six days ago, in a car conversation, a good friend told me something that keeps ringing in my ear until now. I’m not sure if she was just foxed up or if she really has been meaning to tell me that for the longest time.

Being like the older sister I never had, she’s been looking after me since day one. And it’s good that I have someone to say the truth to my face at times I need it most.

I can’t recall how the topic started and why we reached that conversation because from what I remember, we were laughing our hearts out from the crazy night we just had. You know what it’s like when you and your friend are both babbling, laughing like crazy, then all of sudden one of you keeps quiet and then the conversation starts to get serious? That’s what happened.

All I remember is that she suddenly asked about some guy I went out with and she started giving me a litany of the things she learned and the things she didn’t want me to experience. She then ended it with an “It sucks when you think you have lots to choose from but when you REALLY think about it, you can’t pick any of them” statement.

Ouch!

It’s been six days since she said that and for some reason, I just can’t get it out of my head. Maybe because I can’t answer her with anything but “I know.” Because, indeed, I do know how that sucks. I do know how frustrating it can be at times when you become an option at some point just because you are too comfortable. Or how annoying it gets when you get to pull yourself out of the situation and then years later, the same guy comes back to tell you how much of a jerk he WAS. Or how frantic it becomes at some point thinking how elusive good relationships have become.

I’m cool with being single. I don’t mind not being in a relationship for as long as jerks on the loose stay away from me as well. I don’t want another summer fling or just another May-December love affair. I want nothing less than what’s worth keeping and worth fighting for.

Okay, so maybe I watched too many wedding videos lately. I can no longer put the blame on Jon Mcluaghlin this time.