A multitude of faces cannot hide the realness of the ♥. At the end of the day, lonely people will end up lonely no matter how they hide their ♥s behind happy faces, overflowing booze, and deafening music.
30 March 2010
12 March 2010
Birthday Prayer :)
Thank You Lord for another year, for all the people who have come and gone, the people who stayed and the people who came back.
Thank You for the endless blessings despite my sinfulness, for the never ending opportunities despite all that I have let pass me by, for making my ♥ a stronger one despite my constant repetition of things that will tear it apart, and for taking away what does not truly belong to me (this goes out to people, too!).
Thank You for building me up despite all those who would love to see me down, for giving me what's best even when I don't deserve it, and for making me realize things I wouldn't have realized had I been with the same people in the same situation.
Thank You for the gift of life and love, of family and friends, of faith and fate.
Thank You for the gift of patience that I still am in the process of learning and learning to love.
Thank You for the gift of worth and how it's making an impact in my life and the gift of courage to walk away.
Thank You for making me one blessed daughter of Yours and for continually guiding my path even at times I tend to lose my way.
Here's to the year that passed and to the year ahead. Thanks BRO!
Thank You for the endless blessings despite my sinfulness, for the never ending opportunities despite all that I have let pass me by, for making my ♥ a stronger one despite my constant repetition of things that will tear it apart, and for taking away what does not truly belong to me (this goes out to people, too!).
Thank You for building me up despite all those who would love to see me down, for giving me what's best even when I don't deserve it, and for making me realize things I wouldn't have realized had I been with the same people in the same situation.
Thank You for the gift of life and love, of family and friends, of faith and fate.
Thank You for the gift of patience that I still am in the process of learning and learning to love.
Thank You for the gift of worth and how it's making an impact in my life and the gift of courage to walk away.
Thank You for making me one blessed daughter of Yours and for continually guiding my path even at times I tend to lose my way.
Here's to the year that passed and to the year ahead. Thanks BRO!
Like a caterpillar soon to be wrapped in an ugly cocoon, life turns the bad into good, the ugly into something beautiful. And just as the cocoon turns into a stunning butterfly, every dark experience shall turn into the most inexplicably beautiful occurrence. We just have to WAIT...♥ -Shengoy
03 March 2010
For the Mean Time...
By: Anonymous
She's the one you call when you're bored because she makes you laugh. She's the one you talk to when you're feeling down because she's willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She's not the one you call when you need a date to your company's Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She's the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find "The One." You know, the one you keep in the MEANTIME.
She's not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don't look at her as a "real" woman, either. She's not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in the light. She's too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by.She's too understanding, too comfortable. Doesn't make you feel nervous or excited the way a "real" woman does. But she's cool, nice and funny, and attractive enough that when you're lonely and need intimate female companionship, she'll do just fine.
You don't have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, you don't have any facades to keep up, no pretense to preserve. You're not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She's not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you. And you know that you don't have to explain yourself or the situation, that she'll be able to cope with the fact that this isn't the beginning of a relationship of that there's any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her.
It won`t bother her that you`ll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you've been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She`ll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went. She`s just so cool.. why can`t all women be like that?!
But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don`t.. because to you, the situation between the two of you isn't important enough to merit any real thought) you know that it`s really not fair.
You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don't think she`s good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it's mostly her fault, because she doesn't have to give in to your needs - she could really play hard-to-get. Bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn't pull it off. Maybe she`s too short, or a little overweight, or has big birthmark on her forehead, or works at Taco Bell, or just really not that type.
Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman.
You`ll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding, and she`ll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux.
She doesn't captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile.
Mainly, she blends in with the crowd. She`s safe. She doesn't want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone`s head. She wants to be SPECIAL to someone, too. We all do.
She has feelings. She has heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger heart than any woman you've ever known because she`s had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway.
She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you've given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.
Thanks, Moree, for sharing this with me!
She's the one you call when you're bored because she makes you laugh. She's the one you talk to when you're feeling down because she's willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She's not the one you call when you need a date to your company's Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She's the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find "The One." You know, the one you keep in the MEANTIME.
She's not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don't look at her as a "real" woman, either. She's not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in the light. She's too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by.She's too understanding, too comfortable. Doesn't make you feel nervous or excited the way a "real" woman does. But she's cool, nice and funny, and attractive enough that when you're lonely and need intimate female companionship, she'll do just fine.
You don't have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, you don't have any facades to keep up, no pretense to preserve. You're not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She's not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you. And you know that you don't have to explain yourself or the situation, that she'll be able to cope with the fact that this isn't the beginning of a relationship of that there's any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her.
It won`t bother her that you`ll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you've been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She`ll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went. She`s just so cool.. why can`t all women be like that?!
But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don`t.. because to you, the situation between the two of you isn't important enough to merit any real thought) you know that it`s really not fair.
You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don't think she`s good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it's mostly her fault, because she doesn't have to give in to your needs - she could really play hard-to-get. Bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn't pull it off. Maybe she`s too short, or a little overweight, or has big birthmark on her forehead, or works at Taco Bell, or just really not that type.
Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman.
You`ll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding, and she`ll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux.
She doesn't captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile.
Mainly, she blends in with the crowd. She`s safe. She doesn't want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone`s head. She wants to be SPECIAL to someone, too. We all do.
She has feelings. She has heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger heart than any woman you've ever known because she`s had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway.
She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you've given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.
Thanks, Moree, for sharing this with me!
*I'm the SPACE he needed and I was too willing even if it hurts...*
20 February 2010
Flatline
Flatline- (verb) Die; with reference to the condition when the heart stops beating and the person dies.
Flatline. Heart no longer beating. This is generally when a person dies, feels no more, and moves on to a better place. All the pains, the worries, the dramas are left behind in this worldly world.
Minority would be thankful for the passing of a loved one as it allows the latter to pass on to a place where pain does not anymore exist while majority would cry over the loss.
I would go for the former.
Generally, when a person is in great pain, he would rather stop breathing than be tortured every single second of his life. Sometimes, a dying person stops fighting for life and would just want to “go home” instead. Sometimes, one would just want to leave the hurtful world he lives in just to escape the pain.
Flatline. No more signs of any lub-dub in the heart. Signs of life slipping away swiftly.
This might be a post-Valentine realization brought about by my post-Valentine coffee date with Sai or just one of the dramas of yet another sleepless night. But, yes, just like Sai, I no longer see signs of life (or hope) to the sitch we are in, thus, the label FLATLINE.
Flatline because just like what reflects in the monitor when a person dies, our lines would’ve been flat by now had we been connected to some device. Flat not because we are literally dead but because not a zigzag line can be seen as a glimmer of hope of reviving what could’ve been beautiful.
As I have said, given the chance, if it’s only possible, I would go for being happy over a lost love because I’d rather see it as allowing the person to be in a better place. Not because I still am in the realm of martyrdom but because I believe that if I have given all I can but the person still chose to leave, then I no longer have any business with him. I suppose the same goes with Sai. It’ll hurt for a while, yes. It might even suck. But in the long run, we both realized that the beauty is in the attempt.
Still, though my wounds are fresher than that of Sai, it doesn’t mean she hurts any less. And though we can both smile about it now, it doesn’t mean even the slightest zigzag lines can now be seen. None is in sight.
Had we been dying persons, a “DO NOT RESUSCITATE” sign would’ve been placed by now. This is because we, too, would want to move on to a better place.
I cannot speak for Sai but at there are times I chose to wallow in pain because that’s the only thing I have left of the loss. The wiser part of me knows better though. I’d rather stop breathing to make my heartbeat eventually stop.
I’m in pain but I’d rather keep my silence.
And this is where the *sigh* part comes in. I’D RATHER BE IN A FLATLINE.
Flatline. Heart no longer beating. This is generally when a person dies, feels no more, and moves on to a better place. All the pains, the worries, the dramas are left behind in this worldly world.
Minority would be thankful for the passing of a loved one as it allows the latter to pass on to a place where pain does not anymore exist while majority would cry over the loss.
I would go for the former.
Generally, when a person is in great pain, he would rather stop breathing than be tortured every single second of his life. Sometimes, a dying person stops fighting for life and would just want to “go home” instead. Sometimes, one would just want to leave the hurtful world he lives in just to escape the pain.
Flatline. No more signs of any lub-dub in the heart. Signs of life slipping away swiftly.
This might be a post-Valentine realization brought about by my post-Valentine coffee date with Sai or just one of the dramas of yet another sleepless night. But, yes, just like Sai, I no longer see signs of life (or hope) to the sitch we are in, thus, the label FLATLINE.
Flatline because just like what reflects in the monitor when a person dies, our lines would’ve been flat by now had we been connected to some device. Flat not because we are literally dead but because not a zigzag line can be seen as a glimmer of hope of reviving what could’ve been beautiful.
As I have said, given the chance, if it’s only possible, I would go for being happy over a lost love because I’d rather see it as allowing the person to be in a better place. Not because I still am in the realm of martyrdom but because I believe that if I have given all I can but the person still chose to leave, then I no longer have any business with him. I suppose the same goes with Sai. It’ll hurt for a while, yes. It might even suck. But in the long run, we both realized that the beauty is in the attempt.
Still, though my wounds are fresher than that of Sai, it doesn’t mean she hurts any less. And though we can both smile about it now, it doesn’t mean even the slightest zigzag lines can now be seen. None is in sight.
Had we been dying persons, a “DO NOT RESUSCITATE” sign would’ve been placed by now. This is because we, too, would want to move on to a better place.
I cannot speak for Sai but at there are times I chose to wallow in pain because that’s the only thing I have left of the loss. The wiser part of me knows better though. I’d rather stop breathing to make my heartbeat eventually stop.
I’m in pain but I’d rather keep my silence.
And this is where the *sigh* part comes in. I’D RATHER BE IN A FLATLINE.
When you're in great pain, who wouldn't be?
Almost
Almost but not quite...
***The long overdue coffee date with Sai earlier today was a blast. And if we only recorded our almost five hour conversation, it would've been something I'm pretty sure a lot of girls can relate to. Not only was it a very open exchange, it was also an exchange of one broken heart to another. Sai's stories somehow reflected mine and vice versa. (Had I known, Sai, we should've had that conversation long ago. By that time, I wasn't in my temporary insanity mode yet. Hehe) Anyway, during the course of the conversation, there was a mention of the song Almost by Tamia, hence, this post.***
Can you tell me
How can one miss what she's never had
How could I reminisce when there is no past
How could I have memories of being happy with you boy
Could someone tell me how can this be
How could my mind pull up incidents
Recall dates and times that never happened
How could we celebrate a love that's too late
And how could I really mean the words I'm bout to say
I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take my time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you
I cannot believe I let you go
Or what I should say is I shoulda grabbed you up and never let you go
I shoulda went out with you
I shoulda made you my boo boy
Yeah that's one time I shoulda broke the rules
I shoulda went on a date
Shoulda found a way to escape
Shoulda turned a almost into
If it happend now its to late
How could I celebrate a love that wasn't real
And if it didn't happen why does my heart feel
I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take my time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you
(sometimes I wanna rub ya, some nights I wanna hug ya)
And you seem to be the perfect one for me
You (some nights I wanna touch ya but tonight I wanna love ya)
You're all that I ever wanted
And you're my everything yes its true
Boy its hard to be close to you
My love
I know it may sound crazy
But I'm in love with you
I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take my time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you
http://www.youtube.com/wat
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