The first time I read the last status around 7 years ago, it made me wonder how it ever became part of the choices of one's relationship status. Ideally, when one is in a relationship, one is in that relationship no matter how complicated that relationship is. Otherwise, one is single, no questions asked. I then said to myself, I'll never be in an "it's complicated" status. Ever. So for years, I'm either single or in a relationship.
Fast forward to the present, I now understand why in the world such status exists.
IT'S COMPLICATED.
In a world where it gets easier to break the heart of the one you're with, the heart of another, or any heart for that matter, relationships really get complicated even without your consent. Relationships get harder to define and the phrase "we're just friends" became the most overrated phrase next to "I love you". "I love you" became easier to say even to the one you're not officially with. Times are indeed changing and what used to be simple and defined becomes complex and amorphous. Is it just because of the rapid influx of technology or is just because we allow it to be? Maybe a little of both, maybe not.
So how does one define an "it's complicated" status? Allow me to present to you a few scenarios.
SCENARIO A: Girl meets Boy, one gets fascinated with the other, both fell in love over time, and can't seem to get enough of each other. Sounds sweet, right? But just like any other relationship, there's always a drawback. And drawback this couple have... One of them is committed to another. Relationship status? IT'S COMPLICATED.
SCENARIO B: Girl is in a relationship but wants out. Boyfriend wants to stay, does not give Girl the freedom she's dying to have. Girl considers herself single, Boyfriend's relationship status is still "in a relationship". Girl meets other boys, Boyfriend gets jealous but can't do anything about it. Relationship status? IT'S COMPLICATED.
SCENARIO C: Girl and Boy breaks up, moved on with their lives, commit themselves to another. Both are happy with the people they're with, or so they thought. Just when they thought everything has fallen into place, some twist of fate drew them back to each other. They saw each other somewhere, eyes met, old flame rekindled. Boy is already engaged but wants to be with the Girl. Boy is willing to break up with fiancee, Girl not wanting him to do it. Girl and Boy secretly meets up several times after that. The verdict? IT'S COMPLICATED.
SCENARIO D: Girl and Boy call each other bestfriends. Girl is secretly in love with Boy, Boy treats her like a girlfriend. BUT... so does a couple of other girls! Girl hopes Boy might realize one day soon, Boy is either taking advantage of Girl's undying love or is just oblivious of what Girl feels. Girl waits, Boy plays around. Status? IT'S COMPLICATED.
The given scenarios are only a tiny fraction of the many out there. But these are the most common, most happening, most familiar. There are actually hundreds other more.
Normally, it's easy for us to tell friends to just get the hell out of the sitch and be with someone they deserve better. But we all know how it goes... Either they refuse to listen or listen without actually listening. It's sometimes simple for us to just think people who allow themselves to be caught up in such are either masochists or are just plain dim-wits. But when we really think about it, emotional attachment is something no one's an expert of. Even the strongest loses his strength, the wisest becomes dumb.
No one wants a complicated relationship status. No one wants to be with someone he can't call his own. Given that, why do people still allow themselves to be in such circumstance? Simply because emotions are not as easy to turn off as one does to a switch. The emotional struggle is not that easy to discharge. And so, it takes a lot to actually finally be able to stand firm and bid farewell to "it's complicated" and finally switch to the "single" status. Or sometimes, the hopeful in us makes us want to wait a little longer until we can at last turn our status to "in a relationship".
This happens to not only a few but to many of us. Right this moment, I know of several people who consider their status "it's complicated". Bits and pieces of the above-described scenarios are part of my story. Which complicated story is yours? *wink*
1 December 2009
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