When to Never Say Never

A good friend has been asking me to try something I know I just can’t. (Clear your minds, people… It ain’t drugs. HEHE). It’s something that would only stay between us until who knows when. I’ve been declining to give in for the longest time though we both know there’s something that MIGHT lead to greater things... things we dare not talk about. Because of this, that same friend asked me to listen to The Fray’s Never Say Never.

Indeed, there are things we don’t talk about but that doesn’t mean we don’t know they’re there. We know they are. It’s just that it’ll only make what we are complicated, which we’d rather not happen. Or shall I say, I’d rather not happen. So I’d rather not talk about it. FOR NOW.

We’ve been friends for the longest time and things are cool as they are. So to take that one step I’ve been trying to avoid is one thing I’m still not ready for. It doesn’t mean I don’t wanna try. Or that I don’t want it at all. I just know it’s not right at the moment, thus, the song Never Say Never.

For a time, I tried to shut out what it was trying to tell me. Not that I’m open to it now. But at least I know that in due time, when things are right, I will be. Because of that, I asked myself the question “when should I never say never?” . And after a few days I came up with the following:

1. When you know you’d go for it GIVEN THE RIGHT CIRCUMSTANCES,
2. When you want it badly but are just holding back because of the fear of what others might say,
3. When you know you’d go for it the moment you know it’s right,
4. When you are just waiting for the right timing,
5. When you know it’s one thing that will make you extremely happy,
6. When you’re willing to meet someone halfway,
7. When you know you’re willing to do what it takes to get what will make you happiest,
8. When you still can take more pain in hope of better days,
9. When you’ve been waiting and still can wait some more, and/or
10. When you’re going for the right things, for the right reasons.

Whichever I can relate to from any of the above, I dare not say. I don’t wanna open doors to confusion which will eventually be a symptom of what we call complication... something I find synonymous to heartbreak.

Whatever that good friend has been asking me, I never answered with a NEVER. Not even with a YES or a NO. It was more like a NOT NOW. Because more than just wanting to nurture something that has been in existence for quite a time already, I’d rather be a great friend and do what’s right than go and take the risk and ruin everything else.

Wherever this leads to, I have no control of. As of now, I choose to be a real friend and do what will be for everybody’s good.

It’s not easy. Trust me… It gets awkward at times. But I don’t let it get to me because I know in time, that friend will thank me for standing firm on my decision. In time, that good friend will understand. ;)

11 November 2009