The Wonders of Waiting

To stop and wait for the right time. It's one of the things I find the hardest doing. I've always been the "right now" type. I go for whatever I want whenever I want regardless of the consequences, regardless if the whole world thinks otherwise. I go for whatever I want the moment I know I want it. I find no sense putting it off to another time when I can spend more time enjoying it if I go for it right away. I don't see the logic in delaying it and wasting time not having it when I know I'll go for it later anyway.

I used to think it's the same story but without the waste of time. I used to believe it's the way I'm gunna be 'til time goes by cuz it's how I've always been. Add a "take it or leave it" attitude and imagine how crazy it is to deal with me.

But someone came along and initiated the change I never thought I'd succumb to: I'm now learning to wait. This person may not know his impact on my mindset but, yes, he made me take that first step: to at least try to see the wonders of being able to wait. For the right time, for the right reasons, for the right means.

Being the "there's always a right time for everything" type that he is, he refuses to tell me things I've been bewildered about. He refuses to let me in on his mind. No matter how I try to make him spill just even a little, there's no way he'll slip and give me a clue. Somewhere at the back of my mind, curiosity and paranoia is killing me. But somewhere at the bottom of my heart is the faith that this is leading to something better. I dunno where this is leading exactly but I'm sure this is leading to something better. It taught me to wait, that's one big thing already. And although it's driving me crazy each passing day not knowing what I'm waiting for, this is still a blessing to me because it gradually is taming the restless part of me. More importantly, this is teaching me everyday that delayed gratification is more fulfilling than instant gratification.

Now don't they always say waiting is the most important thing one can do for the one he loves? While that stands true, I say waiting also gives the opportunity to change one's mind. The former being the ideal and the latter being the ugly truth. Since I still am learning to see the wonders waiting can bring, I can't say I won't change my mind in the course of waiting most especially because I still know not what I'm waiting for. But being the "I know what I want" type, I know I'm standing by this for as long as I can. The only time I'll be quitting is when that person gives me enough reasons to. And while I can change my mind, he also can anytime. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed with the hope that this is in fact leading to something better. If not, then I'll keep my lessons with me and move on to another chapter. Whatever the case, this caused me to make me want to wait for the unknown. And that itself is something I salute him for. So here's to you. You know who you are. KUDOS!

29 October 2009