For the nth time I fell for someone I shouldn’t fall for. I fell for someone even with the knowledge that it’s not gunna lead anywhere. The GAGA MODE is on again!!!
Who knows when this temporary insanity will last? A day, a week, a month or two? Who knows?! I wish I do. I wish it’s just as easy to turn this gaga mode off than it is to turn it on… I wish it can’t even be turned on in the first place! Cuz when I’m in my gaga mode, even I cannot understand what is going on inside of me. And that’s when I reach the optimum level of
craziness I have in me.
I become dull, I become unintelligent, I make unwise decisions, and I feel inappropriate feelings. It’s what you call kagagahan at its best. Or is it worst?? I don’t even know if it’s worth it. I don’t even know if it’s right. But hey this is how I feel and no one can judge me for feeling this! Because when I start feeling things there’s usually no turning back.
I feel things I’m not supposed to feel but I still feel them anyway. I just feel it and it almost always hit me hard. I’ve always been hit silently but I’ve never been hit in a gradual sense. It’s always in its extreme.
Sometimes I wonder, how many times more do I have to be hit before I finally hit the bullseye? I’m not in anyway rushing. But I sometimes wish I’d stop falling, stop dreaming, stop yearning, stop feeling things for the wrong person.
Sometimes it just doesn’t make sense at all. Sometimes it just seems stupid. When do you actually realize you’ve fallen for the wrong person? When it begins to hurt? But don’t they say love is supposed to hurt when you’re doing it the right way? Now I’m confused. I won’t even try to understand it now cuz the last thing I’d want for now is to decipher love. I’d rather get over this feeling first.
So if anyone out there knows how I can just forget I ever felt this, please hit me back. I’m badly in need of help!
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